i feel blardy lousy and FAT…. had been putting on tonnes of weight….
Ugh!!! I need to go on a diet…. just so I’ll loose the 3 kgs that I put on….
crappy mood…
just read my babe’s blog….. it appeared that she had just gone back to Freddy for a short visit. and it got me thinking….
i guess it really does hit me that i’m not that patriotic… our country is celebrating her 50th year in independence, and yet to me it meant nothing. i love Canada more than my own mother land. no doubt my family is here. mum and dad and koko and alicia, but yet my heart doesn’t belong here… it’s somewhere else….. still searching for a sense of belonging. a place where i can settle down and call home. most of the time i’d shut myself off the world, so i can escape into my own secret place, running away from the hectic world, from reality….. refusing to yield……
i wasn’t content. no. not at all. i do not think things should be the way it is, but there is nothing i can do, at least to a certain extend. at least i know that there’s no point in grumbling or complaining or cursing. it ain’t going to change anything. all i can do is to walk the path that is in front of me. where it leads i don’t know, but i’ll keep walking. but unless i find a place where my heart can call it home, i’ll continue running… running away……
Roomie gone for a night out the rest of the roommates… have the room all to myself tonight…. yeah!!! can do whatever i want for just this night…. 
Glad to announce that I’ve been accepted into University of Nottingham’s MSc Management Psychology. Instead of being given a conditional offer, I’m now given an unconditional offer.
Great news, but not so great for the pocket…
so i was told, not by one but FOUR persons, that i have the so called Sarawakian accent when I speak English….
erm…. not sure what exactly they mean, but it seemed that certain words i pronounce differently than west malaysians… but one thing for sure, i DO NOT pronounce “V” as “wee” as most west malaysians….
after all, i’m still not content.
after all, i’m still waiting.
waiting for eternity,
waiting for a destiny.
i’m still not satisfied.
after all, i had lost almost everything,
and had not gain them back.
i suppose i am just cruising through life.
aimlessly.
what do i want?
it does not matter. what i want i shall never get.
the doors had long been shut.
the ship had long sailed.
grief, expressed my days for the past week.
yet there is this tiny little light,
that ignite the flame of hope.
weak and feeble, but it has potential to grow.
i grief now, and the world rejoices.
i wish, that in time, my grief will turn to joy
and that no one shall take away that joy.
and that what i ask i receive, and my joy shall be complete.
after all, i’m not a quitter.
i’m a strong believer of faith.
after all……
freaky experience yesterday n today……
yesterday: was in the car and driver almost hit the motorclycist that was passing by our car…..
today: TWICE the driver almost ran into the car right in front…..
that’s enough for the week…..
bottom line is…. i need to get my own car ASAP!!!!
I will try my best to save up to fly over next year 
Please do not poo at the “Jalan Lemak 2″ road sign. And to all doggie owners, if your doggies do not read, train them so they READ
read ‘em signs doggies…
p/s: kitties, you are permitted to do your business here
