DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED.

do you know what i loathe? what pissed me off?

no??

let me give you a little piece of my mind.

i hate (hate is actually an understatement) those who think they are all that (when they’re barely there) and have the nerves to trash others like no one else’s business. to morons worldwide who fit the above description, read my lips: go. screw. your. self.

think you’re better than us “lowlings” out there? fine, think ahead. ok, if some pathetic jerks like to think themselves as higher beings than others, that’s fine with me. but if those pathetic maggots dare wiggle out and browbeat others, that is just plain UNACCEPTABLE. if you f**kers are so high up, you won’t be maggots in the first place. a**holes.

damn. i’m in bitch mode, yet again (pms tidal waves hit shore). but seriously. will you let yourself smacked down by some morons who smirked away thinking they’ve met their ultimate goal shitting on your head (pathetic right, they made their goal teasing you)? i mean seriously. when you decided to jeer at others (i don’t care what, be it poor english level or clothings or just being obese), make sure you do a self check before you shoot. do some self reflection, for instance, are you really as fantastic as you think you are? do you have the qualifications to mock others?

seriously, people!! when you want to make fun of others, you have to meet the MINIMUM QUALIFICATIONS before you lock on your target. okay.. to further illustrate the message i’m trying to convey, is it not ridiculous for a 300 pound obese woman to mock a 100 pound woman as being fat?? ridiculous, right??

also, other than the whatever qualification issue, the other issue that i so have to bring up is DON’T FREAKING JUDGE A BOOK BY IT’S COVER!! shallow turds! outward appearances do not account for intelligence. GET. OVER. THE. OUTWARD. PRESENTATIONS. ALREADY. a primp and proper person does not necessarily equal intelligence —> look at Forrest Gump!! (ok, i love him, but he’s primp and proper, yet very unintelligent, though he’s very kindhearted). so, never never never, and i repeat NEVER ever judge a book by it’s cover.

sick of tards who are (pretty self-explanatory) retarded! i’m sure i’ll piss lots of people off, but heck, i don’t care. i was pissed off numerous times and nobody seems to care. so eff-ed it! i’m just merely voicing out my humble opinions. i am not the only one who felt this way. the are others out there too, that felt scrutinized.

and for those who judged: who are you to judge? discriminating others just because you think you’re better? i’d say you’re just trying to feed your non-existence self-esteem. GET A LIFE!! stop picking on others!!! morons!

there… i feel better.

been rather broke lately…. uuugghhhhhh…… the pain of poverty, of not having enough to spend, of not being able to indulge in luxuries…. money money money, the manipulator of mankind….. i hate it but yet i love it… money, money, money, what a love-hate relationship we have had, but i can’t live without you…. oh, money, why do you make my life so miserable….

*sigh*

*big sigh*

so this whole money issue (sometimes) got me thinking, what can i do to have money rolling in? what else can i do other than my day job?? what alternatives do i have?

then i thought of a few possible “part time” gig:

GIG A:

is, since i’m blogging right, might as well be a celebrity blogger and earn endorsements or something like that…. but a slap back to reality tells me the average visits to my blog PER DAY is only a sad single digit number… single digit… it doesn’t even hit a 10. how celebrated can that be, huh??? tell me?? tell me?? who will endorse me?? *sighs*

to add salt to wound, i don’t even blog about something controversial or interesting or eye-catching…. my blogs are just random yakking and venting of frustration (c’mon, i don’t even know how to use photoshop to do simple editing)

GIG B:

so ruling out being a celebrity blogger (due to under qualification), i thought of maybe baking cakes (my cheesecakes are the BEST ok!!) and sell…. BUT hor… i don’t even own a confectionary oven, and no $$ to invest in one…. how to bake, you tell me??? HOW???? sheesh!!!

then come GIG number C:

oklah.. not everybody good in blogging, and have money to invest in confectionary oven mah, right??? so then there’s this Malaysian Dreamgirl thingy that just pops up… then i thought, hey, maybe i can try that too?? i’m not bad looking anyways. even without make-up on i’m luring, what more if i do some touching up, guarantee GORGEOUS gao gao… but then i hit another road block… Malaysian dreamgirl is the search for a MODEL….. haihs…. and standing 5 ft tall, i will be so “outstanding” amongst other girls who literally will be giants over me…. why am i so petite???

So gigs A, B and C clearly are no gos… and i don’t have any other skills (not good with arts or sewing or any other crafty things), thus i can only resort to hoping readers will “accidentally” click on nuffnang ads that will bring me extra dough:

my FIRST nuffnang “income” —> RM 0.25 =_=”

p/s: any other suggestions on earning extra cash??

#$%@&*!!!!!

more @#$%*$#$@$!!!!

more and more @#$^&*!!!!!

better.

stupid person ffk (fong fei kei) me –> turned down the offer TODAY when he’s supposed to report to work next MONDAY!!! and to add oil to the burning flame, he didn’t even pick up my call for the whole of yesterday!! and to fan the flame even more, he even dares IGNORE my blardy sms, until today!!! this morning replying my SECOND sms telling me he wants to start his OWN business. bullshit!! tonnes of bullshitting!! pack of bullshit that fella is full of bullshit!!! made out of bullshit!! everything bullshit!!!!

so people, a pointer for you. IF YOU WANT TO TURN DOWN AN OFFER, BE A MAN AND BE UPFRONT. DON’T BLOODY PLAY TAI CHI WITH ME!!! JUST SAY NNNOOOOOO!!!! how hard can that be?? easy right?? especially when you, in the first place, had decided not take up the offer. JUST BLOODY SAY NO LAH!!! aduh!!

ok, even if you last minute decide not to take it up due to unforseen circumstances (like starting your own business *roll eyes*), when people call you, just freaking answer the phone! be a man!! BE A MAN!!! be PROFESSIONAL and ETHICAL!! can’t understand idiots at times!! sighs!!!

and thanks to this retard, 35K worth of billing just went pppfffffftttttttttttt!!!!!!

T_T

commission (partially) gone……. can you feel my pain????

ladies, imagine a scenario as such:

your lover came to you one fine day(or night, whichever you prefer), strumming the guitar and sang a song to you…. imagine him singing (and considering yourself able to catch every single word he sang lah —- lets be dramatic a bit) and most of all, IMAGINE HOW YOU WILL REACT to him.

i’ll post my reaction in red and bold — (angry mah), whilst the purple shall be the words the idiot sang to me:

I’ve been letting you down, down
Girl I know I’ve been such a fool oh, baby, what happened?
Giving in to temptation you what??
When I should’ve played it cool cool?? cool my @$$ i’m heated now!!
The situation got out of hand you wont have a hand soon!! i’ll chop it off after this!!
I hope you understand understand?? how??

[chorus]
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, anyone you think of oh really? i thought of myself, and IT DIDN’T HAPPEN TO ME!
Anyone can fall
Anyone can hurt someone they love oh yeah? but not all are morons who cheated
Hearts will break
’cause I made a stupid mistake
It can happen to..
Anyone of us, say you will forgive me over my dead body
Anyone can fail
Say you will believe me oh i will, in your dreams
I can’t take my heart will break i don’t want it broken, i want it SHATTERED
’cause I made a stupid mistake
A stupid mistake yeah, stupid is as stupid does

She was kind of exciting
A little crazy I should’ve known yeah, crazy like Britney walking around without panties on
She must have altered my senses
’cause I offered to walk her home oh, so you walked her home and then decided to have a little fun at her place?
The situation got out of hand out of hand or out of your pants?
I hope you understand yeah i understand – that you think with your dick not your head

[chorus]

A stupid mistake
She means nothing to me really? i doubt that
(nothing to me)
I swear every word is true
Don’t wanna lose you sorry baby, your oath means nothing. Adios amigo! you’re on your own!

okay.. obviously i’ve got nothing better to do… LOL!! anyways, song’s sung by Gareth Gates. nice tune it has, just stupid excuses for bastards who cheated on their girlfriends. any any guy attempting to use this song as example to apologize to their love ones are worse than no brainer.

do you KNOW?? that you can create your own wikipedia page?? i just knew. and i am going to create a Ting Yeo page. this will make me google-able….. LOL

i really dislike taking public transport (i.e. train, i.e. KTM) especially during peak hours… it’s just eeeewww… reason being there’ll be LOTS of people waiting:

“people mountain people sea”

and when the train arrives, Malaysians totally lose their cool. I mean these are NOT courteous people at all. the waiting passengers NEVER waited for the embarking passengers to get off the train (despite the repetitious announcement that told the passengers to do so), they just swarm into the train, leaving no chance for the other passengers to get in/out of the train. and those idiots (i.e. me) who cared to even line up will be unwillingly shove into the train. literally pushed and pushed and pushed into the train (even when you’re unwilling to get in the train at this point due to the overflowing crowd)

swarms of people “queuing” to board the train.

and when you’re in the train, you will be in physical contact with your fellow passengers. if you’re short like me, you’ll probably have your nose close to somebody’s underarm. and when that happens, you better pray that that fellow does not have stinging and stinking body odor.

**********

and now, let me briefly write about my obsession with the land other than my own motherland: the land of the Maple leaves, Canada……

so some might think that i love that foreign piece of land more than my own country. this, i will not deny. i truly most sincerely had fallen in love with the cold country since eons ago. thus i openly profess my love for it

ok, to be fair, let me just list out one of few points as in why i love Canada so much. first of all, i spent a quarter of my life there… so, that is some hefty amount of time for a know nothing youngster (i’m still young ok, haven’t even reach a quarter of a hundred). so, it inevitably had become my second home (if not first)…

to justify further, point number one that i love Canada is nonetheless their breathtaking scenery… mother nature is truly amazing…. i love the untouched beauty of Canada. Be it in Montreal, Fredericton, Toronto, Niagara Falls, Jasper or wherever…. the scenery is just A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. really. it’s is picturesque, and no photoshop needed to be done to the enhance the beauty of the images. it is orgasmic. the beauty is beyond fathom…. ok, i’m kinda repeating myself over here, but you get the idea. beautiful places, beautiful sceneries.

mother nature flaunting her curvaceous body

and then there’s their majestic buildings. what more can i say? i can’t. LOL. i just am fascinated by old and haunting buildings. it makes me feel that i’m in the 18th century instead of 21st century. i love the gothic (well, not exactly), historic and ancient architectures that are available in the cities of Canada… it makes me felt, erm, can’t find the word for it. but i just love their architectures.

buildings with history. majestic and well-kept

and then there are the four different seasons. Four beautiful seasons that changes every quarterly. from despairing spring who cries her heart out, to sunshine summer who’s always so lively, and then the romantic autumn who awaits her prince charming to sweep her off her feet, and lastly the icy cold winter whose beauty is not appreciable by everyone

four season, four beauties

and there are also year-long activities that we can do (clubbing, shopping), as well as seasonal fun activities (skiing, skating, kayaking).

activities that keeps you on the go all year round

and lastly, it is the people that i met over there that makes my stay in Canada so wonderful, so beautiful, and memorable.

my entourage…

there are many things that money can buy. but there are some that noone can put a value on it. it is the experiences, the feelings, the memories that money can’t buy. but for everything else, there’s MasterCard (i just have to quote this)…. and my love for Canada cannot be bought!!! i heart Canada.

foods i MUST eat when visiting cat city this coming February:

sarawak laksa
kolo mee
beef noodles
sarawak laksa
sarawak laksa
sarawak laksa
sarawak laksa
and more sarawak laksa

~yum!!

do you know how does it feel to “feel” rejected? rejected by someone whom you care about, or a friend whom you thought could accept you for who you are (who apparently does not).

i won’t be asking this question if i am not in the position, will i? it just seems to me sometimes that things are incomprehensible for me. i don’t know. i was often in situations which i got pushed aside. when a hierarchy is formed, i will often be “victimized” and “scrutinized”. maybe i am bubbly in nature. maybe i seemed shallow outwardly. or maybe you just figure that i don’t give a damn bout you pushing me away.

but hey, bubbles burst too, don’t they? i do not usually confront you and say, “look, i really don’t appreciate you cold shouldering me. i don’t know what’s going on with you, but hey, giving me cold treatment isn’t as nice either.”

well, before anyone just harp on me like i’m some heartless, inconsiderate moron, i understand very well that everyone have their down times. i understand that not everyone can take me seriously as an individual. i damn well understand that we have our mood swings and could be moody.

but hey, here’s some news. i don’t show you my puckered face and shove you cold shoulders when i’m hit by the PMS bug. i remain quiet and kept my distance and then throw you a sweet smile when you approached me. it’s not that you directly tell me to get lost or anything, but your demeanor isn’t friendly and is rather rejecting. also, might i add: if you can be in friendly mode with others, so can you with me. why should i be engaged with the “irritating person, ditch her” mode? when you can joke and have some laughs with other, must you face with with your face all blacken and irritated (and kinda distorted)? that is just discriminating, and ungodly! speaking of brotherly love!!!!! *pissed*

there’s no point coming to me in a late time apologizing not being able to cater to my needs or what not, telling me you’re bugged or down and thus shoving me aside. what’s done is done, honey. if you’ve murdered someone, it’s useless telling your victim days later that you were having a hysterical fit and thus killed him/her. he/she will be dead. the same theory applies here. you’ve rejected me once, twice, and a few more times. whether you like it or not, the harm is there, be it deep or surface. the harm is done and there’s no way to undo it. i can tell you i understand your situation at that moment of time, but there’s no green signal for you being insensitive to my feelings in near future. thus i take it as insincere apologies. those “i’m sorry i treat you like crap” talk is just bullshit.

in case it isn’t obvious, what i’m trying to convey in this entry is this: if you feel like today is your PMS-ing day, and you’re not in the mood to chat or sth (or i just piss you off some ways), it’ll be nice if you can just SAY IT TO ME — straight to my face. punching me straight in the face is better than giving me multiple blows to my back. i will very much appreciate it if you can just tell me:” hey ting, am not in a mood for a little chat. maybe next time?” than you “trying hard” to “entertain” me because i’m oh-so-attention-seeking and i need a listener and bla, bla, bla… anything you want to say, shoot it. don’t hide it and give me that nasty look of yours. urgh. disgusting!! it’s no different than back-stabbing. another deadly vice that i hate. (gossip is okay, back-stab is hell).

i should stop venting my anger here. it seems that i have zero tolerance for moody people. i hate moody people (and yes that include yours faithfully here too — i’m a bitch when i’m moody and i hate myself when i’m bitchy). you do irrational things when you’re moody. you hurt people you don’t mean to hurt, and you say stupid things that bring no good.

p/s: for those who are curious enough to guess whom i’m referring to in this entry, here’s news: NOBODY!! this is a generic entry for me to express my long buried frustration.

don’t you just adore my blog’s new look? say you like it!! say it!!! why thank you spent the whole evening and some hours this morning to create it….. but at least i managed to google a nice template. initially wanted a pomegranate template, but it has 3 columns and distort the beauty of my blog….. but nevermind. this butterfly suits me well, too. very dainty and pretty and girly and quite bimbotic. =D

oh well, just found out that Heath Ledger died. his sudden death shocked me (for those who doesnt know, he acts in Brokeback Mountain, one of the gay cowboys — the macho cowboy). R.I.P, Heath.

and moving forward, just found out that my roommate isn’t too thrilled with me getting my own car, cause that will mean she will lost a certain amount of income monthly…. oh well, we all got to move on, right? i can’t rely on her to transport me around everytime

went to Times Square today by BUS!! alone!! oh, as most of you know i’m too pampered and spoilt, for me to take a bus in mud city alone is rather a huge step for me (i usually dislike the idea of taking buses in Malaysia cause i perceive buses as dirty and run down). the trip took about 45 mins to downtown, and the fare is a mere RM 2. too bloody cheap compared to freaking LRTs. mind you, the RM 2 is for the whole freaking day. pay RM2, keep your bus ticket and you can reuse it within that day to take a bus.

anyways, the bus was relatively new and clean and very well air-conditioned. it was a bliss, and no sweat (literally) so it was great!! hung out there at Times Square for the whole afternoon. had my hair cut by Carmen and it’s only RM 8 (cause student cut mah). it’s just another oh so common bob cut. seems my hair is getting shorter with each visit to the saloon. oh well, nevermind. maybe i can use some hair extensions next time. just maybe.

almost time for me to sleep. been up for 12 hours and 30 mins (i woke up at 10:30 am and it’s now 11:00 pm). gotta get ready for work. and soon it’ll be holidays for me =D i heart holidays.

NOTE: if you’re not used to me swearing and/or you’re offended by vulgar words, then DON’T READ ON. this is a long and frustration venting post. be warned. (but it’s considered mild lah)

there were tonnes and tonnes of random thoughts that kept running across my mind. and for once, i felt like exploding in vulgarities. maybe i’m just (heregoes) fucking frustrated. i don’t know. and even cursing can’t calm myself down anymore. wtf. (by the way, for my newly acquainted friends, i’m not exactly the “girl-next-door” kind of lady. i am rather bitchy, too). i don’t usually spit vulgarities in my blog (at least not that i remembered) cause *ahem* mom reads my blog *ahem* so does my brother *ahem* and sis-in-law *ahem* and my cousin, but leave the couzzie out. she knows me. anyways, to sidetrack a little: MOM, u seriously have to UPDATE your BLOG… i very 辛苦 set it up for u, some more with step-by-step instruction leh…. have to blog lah, don’t 浪费 my 苦心 leh..

okay, back to me. i am an angry kid now. can’t say why. no particular reason. or may just got frustrated with life’s circumstances. lots of shit been going on lately and i want to leave them behind. hate feeling this way. (by the way, i do feel guilty when i curse or say fuck or nowadays, especially with family reading my writings, but guilt aside, sometimes i just need an outlet, so bear with me. i promise i won’t be extreme). they said when life throws lemon at you, make lemonade out of it. but my point is, how the hell am i going to make lemonade when there’s no blender or juicer around? squeeze with my bare hands? aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhh!!!!

**********

ok, so this is like super emotional. now instead of feeling pissed and angry, i feel bloody lonely. and i seriously think coming back to Malaysia is a huge HUGE mistake. okay, some of you may argue that it is God’s plan that i am to be back in this place. i won’t argue with that. it could be a divine plan to lure me back, but yet since being back here, the biggest BIGGEST problem is i can’t really be myself.

i tried being open to certain circle of friends. i did. i opened up to them, telling them my past, my present. and without doubts they accept me for who i am. but shit!! i can’t be totally open to them. there is the dark history that i can never (or probably will never) let anyone in. and this makes me wonder sometimes if there really is something really wrong with me.

but the thing is, i lost a someone whom i can talk to. by talk i don’t mean just conversational talk. i mean seriously talking and opening to that person and knowing that you won’t be judged by him/her. i really missed that. i have friends around me, yes. but i don’t have a soul mate. i have friends listening to my yakking all the times (and they thought i’m talkative by nature), but nobody actually knows that when i talk a lot (and rapidly), i am feeling anxious. very anxious.

i should get myself a shrink. maybe Freud will be interested in psychoanalyzing me. he’ll probably tell me that i hate my mom cause i can’t have sex with my dad or some bullshit like that. but really, what does Freud knows about me? he’s dead anyways. kicked the bucket some decades before i was born, not to mention that his theory wasn’t exactly accurate.

but anyways. once i’m done babbling then i’ll feel better. when i feel better i won’t curse. i promise. LOL. no, i can’t promise.

**********

roommate’s sleeping now. and is rather agitated by my typing and laptop’s bright white light. and my miss Hyde is taking over my dr. Jekyll. am rather devilish tonight. owh!! oops!! nevermind. when the foul mouthed Hyde is gone, the tamed Ting will be back. just give Hyde a night of fun and cursing. she’ll appreciate this rare opportunity.

and now it’s time to say bonne nuit.

p/s: getting my first car in 10 to 12 weeks time. damn excited!! (but that’s no reason for not sleeping)