david vs goliath

david is a young shepard boy whom was not even recognized by his own dad. remember when samuel came scouting for the next king of israel, david’s dad had all his older brothers lined up but ignored poor little david who was out in the field tending the sheeps.

and when the israelites are faced with the threat of the philistine giant, goliath, none of the israelite army can conquer that huge piece of meat. even when david went to the battlefield to deliver food, he was shooed by his own brother. he, david, was usually being sent away and was only a shepard boy to his dad and brother. he was a nobody in their eyes.

but who knows that this nobody is the only person that struck goliath down with a single stone and a slingshot. this young shepard boy who was not highly regarded by his own family. and who will know at that point of time, that this young boy turned out to be a great king?

manytimes i empathized with david. in many ways, i felt that we are similar. no, i’m not a shepard girl and i’m not a king. but there are times when i was being left out, put aside, forgotten. there are times that i was told that i can do nothing, that i am useless and all i know to do is cry. countless times i’ve been put down. numerous times i’ve faced failures and disappointments in life.

but i just want to be like david. despite the odds, he was able to strike down goliath. despite the odds, he was hailed king over israel. despite all negativity, he grew and dwell in the presence of the most high.

so just like david, despite the negative situations that i am in, i want to triumph and tramp the enemy. and just like david, i will fend of ferocius bears and lions, and also venomous snakes. just like david, i will kill goliath and being crowned the victor. i am, after all, an overcomer. and i can do all things through christ who strenghtens me.

MAMMA MIA!!!

mamma mia…. here we go again… my, my, how can i resist you!!!

OH. MY. GOSH!!! this movie is so freaking AWESOME!!!! so good that i want to watch another 10 trillion times and BUY the dvd (not download mind you, but i’ll end up pirating anyways)..

seriously, whoever that have not watched it, GO AND WATCH IT ALREADY!!!! Meryl Streep’s performance was AWESOME, so does Amanda Seyfried, Pierce Brosnan, and not to forget Colin Firth.. oh my goodness. i was singing with them throughout the whole movie.. it was LOVELY… very very lovely show… touching too!!!

it’s so good, i think i want to buy ABBA’s collection also liaw lar.. HAHAHA!!

anyways.. here’s the lyrics for mamma mia!

Ive been cheated by you since I dont know when
So I made up my mind, it must come to an end
Look at me now, will I ever learn?
I dont know how but I suddenly lose control
Theres a fire within my soul
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much Ive missed you
Yes, Ive been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, now I really know,
My my, I could never let you go.

Ive been angry and sad about the things that you do
I cant count all the times that Ive told you were through
And when you go, when you slam the door
I think you know that you wont be away too long
You know that Im not that strong.
Just one look and I can hear a bell ring
One more look and I forget everything, o-o-o-oh

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much Ive missed you
Yes, Ive been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go?
Mamma mia, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
Mamma mia, its a game we play
Bye bye doesnt mean forever

Mamma mia, here I go again
My my, how can I resist you?
Mamma mia, does it show again?
My my, just how much Ive missed you
Yes, Ive been brokenhearted
Blue since the day we parted
Why, why did I ever let you go
Mamma mia, now I really know
My my, I could never let you go

by the way, nah… the trailer of the movie…. let u have a feel of what greatness you will miss if you don’t watch it…

from the inside out

A thousand times I’ve failed, still your mercy remains
Should I stumble again, still I’m caught in your grace

Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart, in my soul
I give you control, consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love you from the inside out.

Everlasting, your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring you praise
From the inside out, Lord my soul cries out

this song says it all: current situation, current mood.

i can’t be sure

warning: gloomy post ahead. don’t read if u’re currently feeling bubbly n life is way to beautiful to be jeopardized by an incoherent babbling post.

i seriously don’t know what is going on with myself anymore. i don’t know myself anymore. and each time when i look into the mirror, all i see is a stranger with a familiar face; a stranger putting on my face as a mask. and when i inquest that stranger who she really is, all i got was a cold stare and a lost face.

who am i. seriously? i can’t even answer this fundamental question. at times when i thought i had finally gotten a grip of myself, i would suddenly lost balance and slipped into a hole of doubts and confusion. and the more i struggle to get out of the damned pit hole, the more i struggle for air to breathe. that is worse than hell itself. at least the blazing fire and the scotching heat blind ur eyes with hellish light. but in that cold, dark space, all u’ve got is urself, whom u don’t even know.

this is a serious case of identity fraud. i lost my identity. i lost my soul. satan has stolen it years ago and i want it back. a body without soul is like reese’s chocolate shell without the peanut butter. it’s like mars without peanuts. it’s empty and ghoulish. and i’m the living example of a zombie.

and in this quest of gaining the treasure of self realization, casualties are meant to happen. but the only casualty is myself. with the emotional and mental exhaustion, the fight for freedom and the securing of salvation does not come easy. and if failed miserably, death is the only way out. but if triumph, eternal life awaits. and during this current situation, where i am standing is between death and life.

will my inner being finally awakens and fight the fight? or will she lies asleep until all hell breaks loose and the physical casing can no longer stand? the spirit is prompting the inner beauty to open her eyes, whilst the enemy will prevent that very moment. it is the epic story of evil versus saint. and the prize, the soul that was long lost which was yet to be redeemed.

and as the good tries to gain control and secure a footing, the evil attacks with self doubt and confusion and emotional turmoil and memories. and the only way to combat it is to have trust and faith. but easier said than done. with the damage so great, the barely breathing body will not last any longer. the only way to sustain is to persevere. will perseverance bring any good?

the war is yet to end. victory is not in hand. not yet. to tramp the enemy, i will need divine intervention. when, then my lord, will you release me of this turmoil that is tormenting my very being? or is that i have to endure it longer until i have paid my debts. if so, i will plea for early release, and that by your grace and mercy, that this war will come to an end. and that i shall be set free.

i ask not for an easy way out. but i ask for strength and perseverance that come from you alone. if i have to continue battling for my soul, then i shall battle ahead. but by your grace, assist me with divine help, that i may sustain longer for your kingdom’s sake. i just need to feel and know that i am not fighting this alone in the dark.

oh no!! i can’t remember what i wanted to blog about!!

and i actually had it in mind like a second ago!! and now it’s gone!!!

old age’s catching up. or is it the caffeine that i’ve been ingesting that ages me?? could be. but i’m on a mission here! i’ve got to shed those pounds and look that great. time line is 4 months. will i make it?? 4 months to shed at least 10 pounds. and look great. we’ll see.

now, i’m committed to tone my arms, so bye bye flabby arms and hello toned arms. wait. i’ve gotta get those dumbells first (and let’s not hope that the dumbells will be just another doorstoppers in the future).

and i’m also committed to detoxifying my body. and also drink lots of water (like really lots of water). and also committed to kick that stupid allergy out!!! ish!!! i can’t have sausage lips for the rest of my life.

oh wait, see, even when i forgot what i have to blog, i mange to come up with some crap here. bullshitting ain’t that difficult, right?

by the way, i’ll try to be nicer when i blog mean bout stuffs that sent me through the roof fuming with rage. i mean i’ve got somewhat higher standards than super slobs, but hey, i’ve gotta to be gracious, no? not to mention that the night i got back from cat city to that dreaded condominium, the first sight that welcomed me was LOTS of mysterious stains at the doorway, and i took an educated guess that it’s coming from the trash, and another educated guess that nobody’s cleaning the friggin trash bin even though it’s crying for attention. and then another unsightly welcome was the stains that magically appear around the kitchen area, and it’s rather easy to know that somebody wet the floor and stepped on the wet area with dirty feet on, and did not wipe the stain off eventhough there were some rags provided. oh well. i’d better stop here before i rant again.

anyways, there’ll be just 2 days of public and much needed holidays next week!! yay!! and a much needed getaway. yay again!!

and now work.. boo!!

back in town

spent an hour writing a rather sad post (well, i think it’s quite sad), then deleted it, and now… hey yo!! back in mud city.

that’s all.. gotta get back to work, which i dreaded….

the next time i’m back in cat city will be next year during chinese new year.. hehe!!

this is totally random, just to amp my mood a little.. suffering from monday’s blues, as usual *wink* (what’s the wink for?? totally random)

and if you don’t know me better, you’d probably think i’m on coke or meth judging from this randomness… eessh… i don’t know.. i’m not feeling very much like myself either….

ting is mean. very. very mean

sometime ago, one of the saturdays, ting decided to get the obnoxious boy (ob for short) to help with grocery shopping.

ting: hey ob, you want to go grocery shopping with me? i need your help to carry some of the stuff
ob: no. i want to study… (gave him ugly shade of purple to make him look gay!!!! hahaha!!! mean i know)
ting: *grumbling a little* ok, nevermind then…. *then go shopping alone, carrying tonnes of heavy stuff back*

an hour later… ting got back and found ob sleeping… so much for “studying”

two weeks later. meanie ting finally cannot tolerate the food stains that ob and his sister left behind. ting failed to understand why is it that nobody will ever do the housework, and that there are actually people who do not wipe the table after dining and leaving patches of gravy behind (eww i know)

so meanie ting gets very irritated and started to sweep the floor, starting from her own room and then proceeded to the common area…. so as ting frantically and sweatily sweep the very dusty and icky floor, the internet cable disconnected (as the prong to the outlet was very loose), and she does not bother to reconnect it (she’s mean in a way, remember??)

ob came out of the room, looked around, walked around, stepped on the pile of collected dust that was to be deposited into the dustpan, continued to walk around obnoxiously, and finally said: oh, you disconnected the internet cable

ting: *rolled her eyes and ignored him*
ob: *continues to parade around*
ting: eh, can you move away. i have to clean this place
ob: *walked away*

few moments later ting brought in the mop and pail and begins mopping the floor again… and as she is busily mopping away, ob interrupted: make sure you don’t disconnect the internet cable

ting: *very irritated and angry at this point for all the mess he had created* sssshhhh!!!!! i cannot guarantee this. if you want to make sure the cable does not disconnect, you do the sweeping and mopping yourself. else, just keep quiet!!!!!!!

ob: ……………..

ya…. so this is to tell you i can be bitchy when i wanted to, and no, don’t get on my nerves.

ok, next time i’ll dish out more irritating stuff bout the lazy bums that stayed around with me..

sometimes, it really is better if i stay on my own.

away for the weekend

heading off to cat city for the weekend. yeah, i know. i went back so very often.

been trying to download Hell’s Kitchen for the past week, and man was the net slow.. first, our office’s internet connection crashed the other day (was it last week??) and this morning too.. and there it was like 94% done, just 6% left, and the ETA was 2 n half hours… man!!! i had to be at the airport by that time :S

anyhows, i’ve had few movies with me to watch just in case i’m bored at home.. so far i’ve got Love Guru, The Other Boleyn Girl, Harold & Kumar, Get Smart. i was actually hoping for HK season 4, since it’s the whole season with like 17 episodes (good way to kill time, so college students take note)

anyways, i hate some of the songs i had on my itunes, but i dun want to delete them cos then i’ll have nothing to listen to….. haihs….

anyways, might be going for white water rafting during raya… sounds interesting no?? well, i might go, RM150 per person…. close to nature, yo!!

oh, by the way, don’t expect pics for the trip back home. i’m not a camera person, and since when did you see me flood my blog with pictures? like almost never, right??? so… ya..

Answer to spot me

Tagged by Susana

Never see the questions before you arrange the names

1. Shen
2. Shinq
3. Phyll (ur url damn long u know)
4. Larnee
5. Nick Wong

Here comes the questions:

1. How did you meet 1?
Shen was introduced to me by my parents, who decided to gave birth to the both of us

2. On a scale of 1 – 10 (1=very bad, 10=very good), how would you rate your friendship with 1?
Friendship arh… errr……. no comment, alter the question to sibling-ship then probably 20 out of 10.

3. How long have you known 4?
Have known Larnee for bout err, 2 years?

4. How do you know number 3?
Phyll’s my cousin.

5. Where’s 5?
Last I hear from Nick was he’s heading to Seremban for lunch with friends.. now ah, probably everywhere… ain’t sure where..

6. A fact about number 1?
He’s my brother.

7. Who is 4 going out with?
A great guy by the name of William

8. What does 1 do for a living?
He’s a con artist. HAHAHAHA.. no lar.. he’s a freelance photographer (visit shensnaps.com) and also a regional manager for Hwang DBS

9. Would you live with number 3?
Of course. Then i can make her clean up my mess…. MUAHAHAHAHA

10. What do you like about number 2?
What’s not to like bout Shinq?

11. Do you miss number 5?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! a good one… no.

12. Would you make out with number 4?
another good one… sorry Larnee dearie, but don’t think i’m that adventurous to go into bi-sexuality. plus you’re taken

13. What’s your opinion on number 2?
opinion on Shinq.. let’s see… the parents of her patients hate her (quote and quote from her blog) haha.. i’m so unoriginal…

14. What’s your favourite memory with number 5?
favorite memory with nick???? does squeezing in his 4WD with 10 other youths en route to Hillsong United’s concert count as a memory?? but that’s not exactly a favorite though..

15. What will you do if number 1 and 2 were going out?
totally acceptable. they’re married for goodness sake

16. Ever had a long conversation with 5?
no.

17. Have you ever slept at 2’s house?
of course.. i’m a party crasher and a high voltage lamp post.

18. Do you hang out with 3 a lot?
not as often as i had wished. now that she’s in england… it’s even worse :S

19. Who have you known the longest?
i’ve known my brother all my life. what’cha think?

20. What will happen if number 1 and 5 have a relationship?
parents will shoot their temples with a M16 cause their son will have to be homosexual to have done that.

21. How often do you talk to 1?
Every once a while via msn or sms

22. What about 2??
same as her husband

23. Have you ever thought 3 more than a friend?
she’s more than friend. we’ve got the same blood running through us (well partially)

24. Would you go on a date with number 5?
define date.

25. Do you dream about number 2?
errr, not yet

26. What did no.4 did to you that you can never forget?
she was there for me at my lowest point of life. thanks babe. i wish i can be there for you when you needed it too…

27. What have you done for/to 1 that the person never forgets?
koko: what have i done to you that you never forget (besides owing you money)??

28. What’s 3’s hobby?
phyll’s hobby will be to chat with me on msn. she lives for that… MUAHAHAHAHAAH j/k

29. Tag more people.
the tag ends here.