the mermaid and the lion

when the lion mates with the mermaid, you undoubtedly get a merlion…. and i’m supposed to be there, stomping the grounds of the land of the merlion….

too bad i’m still rolling in mud here at mud city. it just doesn’t cut it. it’s supposed to be my christmas break, and i’m supposed to be shopping my heads off at their holidays sales…. and here i am, stuck in mud and running low on dough…..

it sucks to be poor… and with lots of work… and no leave to clear…. oh well, next year will be better.

i’ll aim for the mid-year sale then.. so june 2010  (ample time to save up), singapore, here i come. i pwormise.

ridiculous

i’ve heard one of the most ridiculous things ever couple days ago.

it’s so ridiculous i just want to spit on the person (but i didn’t, of course).  and even now, the thought of it still disgust me.

such absurdity. and it makes me wonder, what has the world tun into? ridiculous!

p.m.s

i am so emo right now and i blame p.m.s.

monday snooze

instead of having the regular monday blues, i’m getting the snooze bug bites…

blame the few nights of  “sleepless in kuala lumpur” due to extreme high stress, you get a very agitated HanThen who was desperately trying to sleep her way through Sunday night. but the practical joke that was played on moi was that as tired as i was, i can’t even last 5 minutes with both eyes closed.

so… out of desperation, i got no choice but resort to the two little white pills that instantly conked me out within 15 minutes upon ingestion. but there come the consequence: drowsiness and sleepiness….

so here you have it.. a snoozey monday instead of a blue monday… ish… let’s keep fingers crossed that tonight will be a good night (sleep) for me.

boy and girl

in a typical everyday setting, boy meets girl and girl meets boy.

just as all couple, boy befriends girl and girl befriends boy. a steady friendship was formed and the friendship slowly evolved into something that is more complex — girl, inevitably, had fallen for boy. boy claims the same fate.

however, as normal and as harmless as it seems, the relationship that is developed between boy and girl is not a relationship at all. boy, is no longer a boy. way before his love declaration for girl, boy is already a father. girl, way before her love declaration for boy knows that girl will never be what she wanted to be.

when asked, girl confessed the agony and pain that had been torturing her every being. however, girl is not afraid to declare that despite the little moments of emotional turmoil, she felt no remorse for her action. girl claims her love for boy is stronger than her conscience, and though at nights she felt the tormenting conscience calling her names that are less than pleasing to the ears, she does not feel that her affair with boy was in any way wrong.

girl knows that the relationship is more sexual than emotional, and that boy is a beast of an animal whose sexual tank is never ever filled. girl acknowledges the lust burning within their souls that is overtaking their senses, and worse what is little left of  their sanity and realism. girl is living in surrealism, in fantasy, in her own self created, desired world.

when asked if boy cares for her tenderly and lovingly, girl could not answer. she paused for a split second before answering she thought he did. that, is the problem. she thought. she wasn’t positive. girl kept mum. she said not another word.

friend rationalized the situation with girl. girl listened. her door was not opened. it was left ajar. friend put a foot in, but that is all that friend could manage. friend could not squeeze through, and friend decided to not barge in. friend felt that friend had done almost what can be done: explaining the consequences, explaining the likely demise of everything girl hold precious. girl remained silent and looked at friend. after a slight pause, girl finally spoke her mind: she does not need help, despite the fact that this relationship will be and continue to be tormenting her inner soul. girl has chosen her fate. friend had decided to leave girl to her decision.

*************

here’s a little misconception that most women stupidly and willingly believes: if a man sleeps with her and told her he loves her, then he loves her. maybe he does, but most likely he does not. what he wants from you is not love. rather just a quick f**k to release his lust. no matter how gently he whispers his i love yous in your ears, he will never mean it. or at least he will never love you enough to leave his family for you.

there you have it, my two cents worth.  it is important to take heed of other people’s experiences. sometimes, whatever happen to people surrounding us are merely a full size mirror for us to really reflect and ponder. it serves as a vivid lesson and really help us rethink our actions, our decisions. it maybe harsh at times looking into the mirror with the reality staring back at you. but however harsh it is, it is necessary for us to always learn from mistakes.

shitty

i’m having this bouts of fever/cough/flu/croaky voice since forever. it just seems that everytime i’m feeling better, this crap of an illness has to come back and haunt my physical being.

i am feeling shitty now, no kidding, and i do hope that i’ll get well soon. like really soon. it sucks to be sick and maintain the  same weight. at least give me the credit of losing some kg just as consolation prize. geez.

angry

i just realised that i was pissed off over something, and that i really want to rant. since my fever’s gone, and that i’m feeling a little better if not much better, i shall rant it now  before it slips my mind.

actually, what i really want is justification that i’m the poor sickly thing that was being “bullied” into hard labour. must still have my “listen to me” moments (or what some would call it my king-kong moments) despite being sickly.

anyways…. back to the short rant (before really concentrating on work).  so i was back to mud city from my mini escapade to Malacca over the weekend, and on the day i arrived home (which was sunday), my body couldn’t take the exhaustion accumulated over the moving and driving, i had fallen sick.

so as i planned to sleep, and was actually already lying on my bed, the housemate had to knock on my door repeatedly to wake me up and drag me up to help her move furniture. i repeatedly told her that i was not fit to do physical hauling and that i was very sick. she refuse to take note and drag me up to carry what were left of 2 unwanted piece of furniture.

after the hauling and dragging, what was left of me was fever and sore throat. no joke. i was so weak and sick, i could barely stay awake on monday, and felt as though i was going to collapse anytime soon. refusing to get a medical leave, i still head up to the office, work, and then took my field trip to midvalley, and then when i really couldn’t take it any longer, i drove myself back home, plopped myself on the bed and took a nap.  and when night falls, i thought i was going to die and then i realize, i hate falling sick.

anyways… i guess i’m done ranting. it just piss me off that i had someone so inconsiderate as a housemate. but alas, let bygones be bygones. bury the hatchet and move on.

internet!!

don’t you realize that internet plays such a huge role in our modern lives now?? my gosh, i was cut off the cyber world and i felt so, so disoriented.

i knew it all along, but this is a harsh reality to face, since we all practically very much depends on it. i’m an addict. an internet addict.

in fact, i knew i was an addict way earlier that i proposed a thesis based on internet addiction i was pitching for the honors degree… but alas, i failed to squeeze my butt into one of the 15 places offered.

but now, for some unglamorous reasons, there had been a problem with the internet connection. and, apparently, according to the streamyx tehcnician, its not cause bills weren’t paid. it’s some settings problems. not sure how it got haywired since i did nothing to the configuration.

but point is, life without internet is like walking without legs. you can’t walk at all!!! and i’m now loitering at starbucks feeding off their wifi. my gosh, as slow as their connection is, i’m contented that i can blog and facebook and msn-chat all the same time (with some time).

but the downside is that since the seats within the cozy air conditioned premise were already taken, the desperate me is now crouching outside sucking on the plug points, feeding lots of mosquitoes just to get online. wait, i need to pay 6 bucks for a cup of coffee, too.  ahh.. the pain of being an addict.

and hey, tomorrow’s training day number 2. boy i LOVE training with them. free food!!!! yum!! and yes, funny lot of people, tho i know some have high expectations. but overall, i think i did alright and they’re happy with my performance. need lots of fine tuning, that i know, but hey, practice makes perfect

crap metal (and plastic)

its no wonder the pc is crawling at ants’ speed. the processor is a celeron processor, with a 256 mb ram.

who still uses 256mb?? that is like what, 10 gazillion years ago??? no wonder it lags like mad and freezes like mad even tho the room temperature is melting me into a pile of human goo.

urgh!!! ok, ok… i’ll count my blessings. start counting ‘em one by one now…

but still… i need a system upgrade!!!

stress

my stress level is really rising up right now, and all i want and pray for is a smooth saturday morning.

ah.. i need all the wisdom from all the experienced ones, and yeah, lots of assistance, too.