silence

there is an awkward silence here in this room.

i have an odd sense of peace, yet there are un-restfulness within the odd peace. something is doing quite the stirring, but i can’t place exactly what. it is just an exceptionally quiet sunday afternoon, and i do not intend to ruin the silence that i am having.

but i will very much appreciate a quiet companion in this quiet afternoon.  a mate, a book and a cup of iced coffee sounds divinely tasteful.

mocha ice blended & chocolate eruption

winter

of all these years, i’ve always thought i experience my first winter when i studied in canada, i thought wrong.

my first winter experience was really when i was 10, and i went through it at guang zhou, china. somehow, the memory wasn’t as vivid as i wished. i remember clearly that i was there for an intensive dance course of perhaps ten days or more? i can’t remember. but i know i was away from home for the very first time on my own (of course with care takers a.k.a my teachers) and i remembered clearly that i was terribly homesick. so much so that i was afraid that the ten days of my stay there, i’ll forgot my mom and dad’s faces.

i don’t have any digital copies of pictures of me being over there. i vaguely remember that the ten days was all about dance lessons and practices. and i remember it was cold, perhaps 5 degrees celcius, and that i was wearing my orange colored tweety sweatshirt and pants. and i remembered falling sick twice within that short time frame.

this memory was somehow suppressed behind the memory vault. it is there, alright. just that i did not pay much visit and attention to it. and it gave me a wrong illusion that my first winter was in canada. but of course, i experience my first snow in canada. no doubt about that.  and i have to say. as much as i love fall, i love winter.

to be more specific, i love a white winter. i love the cold i love the snow. i like how it looks all white and pure after a heavy snow fall. i love the fact that my eyelashes freeze and i can’t blink my eyes proper.. or that when i breathe through my scarf, it forms instant ice pellets. i miss winter. i do. and how much i wish to stick my tongue out so that snow flakes can melt on it…

ahhh…. i miss winter… and how freezing the temperature was and i was enjoying my homemade coffee out of my starbucks tumbler while walking to campus for classes… those were the days…

st. dennis street

this is st. dennis street, or at least a fracture of it (sorry lar, lousy phototaking skill, can only take what my eyes can see)

st dennis street during christmas

it was christmas eve when the bunch of us walked down this street, and then walked back up again. we were all looking for just one thing: a nice hang out place. since all of us rode all the way from fredericton to montreal, we really want to celebrate christmas differently.

and by different, i meant getting wasted. there weren’t many pubs opened during the night before christmas. and we girls are not heading down st. catherine’s street for the infamous tiger show and striptease. so, st. dennis it is.

and we finally found ONE bar that is opened:

the pub.. taken whilst sober

and as fate had it, i was konked out that night. more than tipsy, more than high. my world was spinning and i couldn’t walk straight. and my point is? i miss the fun days i had when i was still studying my butt off.

refusal

at this point of time, staring at the clock on my computer screen, it reads 1:08 AM. with the lights off, i am typing in the dark.

honestly speaking, i am tired. so tired that you can’t imagine. but yet i refuse to sleep. i don’t know why, too. so stop asking me to sleep. there this silent stubborness in me that is fighting the urge to sleep. why?? i can’t be sure.

maybe i missed the late nights at tim hortons. getting a cup of large triple triple at the ungodly hour of 3 or 4 AM in the morning, chatting with friends. yakking on nothing important, just enjoying one anothers’ presence.

if i can turn back time and make it stop, i want to stay 20 forever. i maybe chubby, but i’m happy.

reminiscing much

as i closed my eyes and had the warm water splashed unto my slightly cold body, my mind brought me back to the place where i was once so familiar with. and as my mind continue to paint the familiar picture, i felt the corner of my lips curled upwards into a smile, which quickly led to a sigh. ah. how time flies.

i remember the day when i was up in the plane looking downwards through the tiny window pane to a mass piece of orange colored trees. i squealed with delight to my then travelling partner:” look, we’re almost there.” he politely looked at me with a courteous smile, not wanting to make fun of my childish manner.

and i remembered the disappointment that crept up from my guts to my heart when i saw how minute the supposed airport was. but i quickly console myself with the fact that we were riding in a forker plane cause the runway for the airport would not be able to hold any aircraft bigger than that tiny 30-seater plane.

as i walked out of the plane and onto the runway, the cool autumn breeze greeted me without warmth, and i was shivering under my rather thin padini sweater. “brrr…. it’s cold” i remembered myself saying this whilst darting into the arrival hall, which was so pathetically small. but the people there have big hearts.

we climbed onto a trius taxi and had the cab driver chauffeured us to our place. “you’re students, eh?” i remembered him striking a conversation. i didn’t pay too much attention to the conversation as i was too busy taking in the scenery that was passing by so fast. i wished i could ask him to slow down and let me enjoy my first glance of fredericton more.

“you came during a good time. it’s end of summer and the weather is just about to change. not too cold for you, i hope.” the driver talked away. “oh, no. it’s slightly chilly than i expected, but i’m sure i can get use to this.” “well, that’s 16 degrees for you. lovely weather out here. there might be some rain at night, though. just make sure you bundle up.” “thank you for the pointers.” and the conversation stopped.

and upon arrival of our apartment, we took all our luggage down, thanking the cab driver for his friendliness. “anytime, fellas. just give us a call 454-4444, and you can ask for number 28, that’s me.” “alright. thank you so much.”

the cab ride was 25 canadian dollars. and later did i realize that george’s taxi had a cheaper rate than trius……

as i was about to dig deeper into my memory, i realized i should get going before the water turns cold, and before i get myself late for work. heaving a sigh, i told myself i’ll have to leave the rest of my reminiscent for more relaxed times.

add new post

still writing something even though i basically have nothing to write. or to blog, so to speak.

well, ‘cept the fact that i really do appreciate the heavy downpour that was sent by the Lord above at the wee hour of,  i don’t know, 4 am in the morning (i’m just guessing)?? i woke up to the splattering sound of rain hitting the windowpane and the wind howling. and i remembered smiling to myself, half asleep, praising the Creator for the heavenly gift of heavenly shower that turns the heat down.

and i woke up feeling very refreshed, though i am ashamed to say i have yet again woke up late. and when i opened the door, stepping into the corridor, the cool breeze swept my hair from my face, and i found myself smiling. this is what i’m living for. a great morning with a cool morning breeze. if only i have my starbucks tumbler in my hand,  filled with steaming hot coffee, and it has to be a double double. wait, make it a triple triple.

little bits and pieces of an almost forgotten memory came creeping into my mind. ahh.. i remember exactly the feel of the cool breeze brushing my face. it was a rainy summer day, and i was biking my way for an interview for  the resident counsellor’s position.  45 minutes of biking to the North Side, making sure i did not dirty my very white wind breaker. along the path, i enjoyed the green maple trees, and the little wild strawberries that grew healthily with the sheer blessing of sunlight and rain. and i remembered smiling to myself, and smiling to the other bikers that cycle along the track. blissful, peaceful. i adore that feeling. the exact feeling that i am having now.

i just love the whole sunshine after the rain feel

dark, glossy locks

i miss my long, black hair… i guess i shan’t be chopping the locks if i want the length back, eh?  by the way, that’s me in 2006. it’s the period of time when i couldn’t be bothered by recession and retrenchment. the time when the only issue in mind is to graduate and fervently maintain a healthy glossy crown. oh well, time flies.

tiny

he was amazed and amused at my insistent of capturing the photo of our feet, size 12 vs size 5. and looking back, i should have taken a photo with him side by side to keep the memory of him towering over me alive.

oh the good old days.

drink up

wear lots of green and chuck down that Guinness down your throat.  it’s st. patrick’s day.

so drink up and get drunk. okay, maybe not that drunk. share some ale and crack some jokes. yes i know, we’re supposed to pay respect to st. patrick (it’s his day) but seriously i have no idea what st. patty’s all about.

but i do know that there are great songs to listen to while you’re enjoying your cold brew of stout.

here’s 2 great songs from Great Big Sea (obviously they’re from canada):

night patty murphy died

and here’s another:

the old black rum

both songs are really cute and jovial, really, if you know how to appreciate them so, drink up and enjoy. oh, and don’t get piss drunk, please.

tell the rain to stop

so i can enjoy sunshine once again.

does that sound very emo???? maybe a little. but truth is, i wish it will rain at night when i’m sleeping, not when i’m working. the thought of the traffic annoys me :S

but it brings me back in time, when it was early spring and the rain melts the snow, leaving murky mud pools all around. and we were walking up and down all slow with caution so we don’t fall on the ice. and i always get my jeans dirty and got nagged at for bringing pebbles into the room.

time flies. and two years i’ve been in boleh land. two years i’m out of canadialand. time really does fly. i’m not 19 anymore.