tired

and of course i don’t plan to sue my employer. i love my job, just that i am physically tired. that’s all.

moment of truth

i’ll do something a little out of the box, or somewhat unusual of my character here.

i’ll be completely honest, and answer your questions in complete honesty. so how this will work is you who read and follow my blog can ask me any question (yes any. from the most private and to the most absurd) and i will give you an honest answer. one that is pure and without compromise. no lies, just plain truth.

but then of course the questions are not allowed to be ask here via the comment box due to privacy issue, so send me an email with the subject title: MOMENT OF TRUTH to tingyeo@gmail.com.  and just to highlight my sincerity, ask ANY question about me and i will answer you truthfully.  here’s the chance of you digging out my dirty laundry

and oh, of course there is an expiry date to this sort of daring honest revolution. it’ll expire the moment a new blog post is up. so, you’ve got at least 24 to 36 hours to ask ridiculous questions without getting a tight slap on the cheek and one question per person, so ask wisely

but then if no emails were received, i’d take it that i’m transparent enough for you all to understand me

most wonderful time of the year

it is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year. everybody loves christmas. who doesn’t?

as much as i love the festive season myself, somehow, this year i am feeling a little….. different…..

i feel very indifferent towards christmas this year. i am not excited, i am not hyped, i am not exceptionally happy, i am not upset, i am not down. i am just what i said i was – indifferent.

i am not looking forward to it, and i am not looking forward to the coming new year. i have no anticipation, i have no aims, no goals, no nothing.  i can’t feel what everybody is feeling – excitement.

my love for christmas is not dead, that i’m sure. but the passion is gone. why? i can’t say i’m sure. but i do appreciate the meaning behind this most celebrated birthday, and i really do appreciate the off day from work that comes with this celebration. but somehow, christmas this year is very different from the previous years. and when i can exactly point out the noticeable difference, then perhaps i will share further.

1:37 am

i woke up abruptly and stared into the my laptop’s monitor screen. it read 1:37 am.

i cooed myself and calmed myself down, and blaming the bright screen for the fear induced in me, i shut the computer off and tried to get myself into bed. i said a silent prayer, that my heart be calmed and my sleep not be disturbed. yet, i was still trembling in fear. i managed to remind myself of my God’s greatness, and managed to get my eyes closed, after reassuring that angels are watching over me.

this was not a panic attack.

for the first time, in a long, long time, i had a nightmare. nightmare that literally woke me up in the middle of the night with my heart pumping and fear stricken. it was gory. it was fearsome. it terrifying.

images are still vivid, though the fear had subsided. i just hope that i’ll not have another nightmare ever again.

silence

there is an awkward silence here in this room.

i have an odd sense of peace, yet there are un-restfulness within the odd peace. something is doing quite the stirring, but i can’t place exactly what. it is just an exceptionally quiet sunday afternoon, and i do not intend to ruin the silence that i am having.

but i will very much appreciate a quiet companion in this quiet afternoon.  a mate, a book and a cup of iced coffee sounds divinely tasteful.

mocha ice blended & chocolate eruption

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happy anniversary, baby!!!

time flies, and it had been a year since you’re mine. honestly, i really can’t imagine my life without you. you (sort of) complete me.

happy one year, and lets cheer to that!!

blah

it had been on and off and off and on lately that i found myself stuck in a very blah situation. not exactly a situation, but rather a kind of inexpressible feelings.

some how or rather, as talkative as i seem, i can’t seem to really verbalize my feelings. especially when the feeling is kind of like a blah feeling. it is not anger filled, nor is it tear filled. not happy either and not sad. some how or rather, it’s just very flat.

yah… i guess what i am feeling is more of a flat feeling than an excitement. somehow or rather, life seems mundane and boring at this point of life. nothing keeps me alive, well other than the air that i breathe.

i guess maybe cause i am constantly seeking excitement or rather trying too hard to spice up the very dull life that i have, i sometimes missed out the little things that surround me. or sometimes i guess i just forget to count the little blessings that i have. and looking back, i suppose i have so much to be thankful for rather than focusing on the blah-ness and on the boredom.

but that aside, i do wish that my wish will come true, soon. i mean i know one day it will come true, but the impatience that is in me wishes that it will be sooner rather than later. i know, i know… the best always comes last.

and again, that aside, i suppose my incoherent mind is again yakking away with my fingers typing away. and as i look from my point of view right now, this post is completely, utterly random and holds no purpose. it is really nothing but a randomosity that comes out of a bored blogger who intently blogs for the sake of updating her very low traffic blog.

and yet again, i love my blog for the sake of loving it and i love blogging for the sake of speaking out my very incoherent mind and my very complicated feelings. and sometimes at this point of life, i’d imagine myself lying on Freud’s couch wondering what the heck will Freud diagnosed me with?? i need to go back to shcool and reread my books. i miss psychology much, and i miss canada even more.

hate the weather malaysia has to offer, and to think i’m born of this country, it baffled me….  oh well, nothing to do with the politics. it’s all about the bloody equatorial weather. why doesn’t it snow here? dam!! i’m melting away, can’t you see??

spare tyre

you know sometimes we tend to cast aside and ignore the spare tyre that constantly lie flat in the boot of our car. okay maybe you don’t think that way. but i do. i never give a damn  bout the extra bulk that is in my boot.

well, at least not till today. honestly, don’t ask me how i did it. i seriously don’t know. all i can remember is i hit the curb that is in front of the entrance, and the next thing i know is the  car swayed a little  and i manage to halt it.  so i drove away without stepping out of the car and check, cause you know, it’s just a normal incident, running against the curb that is.

but as i continue driving, i suddenly sensed something was totally out. the steering wheel was weighing and i felt as though my car is making a lot of noise. so i almost wanted to freak out, but i drove as slow as i could (at 20km/hour – now you don’t always see me driving at that speed okay, and at that moment i thought i could walk faster than that). so i pulled over by the side of the road and stepped out of the car and found my tyre completely flatten.

so during times of emergency, the first person that came first into my mind is none other than that new dad whom i’m very close to – adam. i called adam but adam can’t come to my rescue. in fact he asked me to call proton’s 24 hours car care service (and that service was horrible. they just brushed me off asking me to find other assistance cause it’ll take them a while before they can get to me. so don’t call them next time).

so next in mind is none other than my darling puiboon (i have to sugar coat her now that she’s been my knight and saved me from my distress). she’s an angel and came to my rescue. and with her, she brought along 3 good samaritans. and to the 3 guys, thank you so much. i should have ask for your names and head hunt you for better positions with my clients as a reward. but honestly, those guys were kind enough to assist even though they are rather rusty at changing tires. and then came the 4th guy who managed to get the tyre out and put the spare in. and i was standing there the whole time like a bimbo. all i knew was to stand there and look good, while puiboon at least assist the guys a little. now, jo, i agree i’m a bimbo right there and then, but not now though. haha

but all in all, it is amazing how strangers come to your assistance when you’re in need of help. and i have to thank puiboon for really coming to me. i mean thank God that He sees my situation and got her on the phone and just round the corner… phew…

and through this, i realize something crucial. i must really get myself a 24/7 on call boyfriend who will come to me whenever i need him, and fast. either that, or i learn to change the tyre myself. but i guess the latter option is the better of the two.

oh well, what a day. a flat tyre will eventually come my way. i just didn’t think it came this soon.

by the way, i didn’t take pictures. i was too embarrased to do so.

Answer to spot me